Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Whimsical Parenting - Do you have the balls for it?

What kind of parent are you?

Are you the maxed out, over-committed manic mommy that is too exhausted trying to be perfect, to really enjoy her kids?

Are you the helicopter parent that is continually hovering over her children? You are so busy controlling their every move and structuring their playtime and play dates that you have no other interests?

Are you the workaholic wonder woman whose day starts with barking orders at her kids as they get ready for daycare and school, so you can get to work on time? At night, do you collapse in bed trying to figure out when you became a drill sergeant?

Are you the detached, “it’s all about me” parent, that people are surprised is a mom because you are always out doing your thing and are rarely seen with your kids?

If you haven’t had kids yet, please don’t run away screaming! Being a parent doesn't make you as crazy as it sounds. It’s just that some parents over do it and get out of balance. We are so overwhelmed with our own life and the idea of being responsible for another life that we get lost. We feel guilty when we put our needs first and feel like a pathetic martyr when we forget about our needs.

 Being a parent is a juggling act. Have you ever watched a juggler? If you watch long enough, the juggler will inevitably drop a ball at some point. A good juggler will recover so fast that it is barely noticeable or make it seem like it was part of the act. A good parent is a professional juggler.

Make a list of all balls you have in the air. Start with your kids’ basic needs like food, shelter and clothing. Then list their emotional needs like love, compassion, trust and laughter. Think of their physical and mental needs like help with homework, dental appointments, sports, and play time.

List all of the balls that you are juggling just for them. Now, add your balls. You have lots of balls to handle! Some of you even have really big balls!

See what you are dealing with? You are just a juggler doing the best you can. Relax and know that sometimes a ball will drop. Before tossing it back up with the rest, decide if that ball still needs to be part of your act. It’s your show. You can change the act at any time. Just focus on the performance as a whole and enjoy!

Accepting that you have your hands full while juggling your life, adjusting after mistakes and adapting along the way, is all part of the journey to discovering your Whimsical Sol.

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