How I endured and eventually escaped an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship, is something that I am going to have to ease into sharing. My ex used to joke that I had "SMD" -"Selective Memory Disorder." It was a fake disorder that he made up to describe my ability to only remember the good. Ironically, it turned out that my "Selective Memory Disorder" was actually a defense mechanism that allowed me to endure being with him as long as I did. The point is that, I like to focus on the positive and it takes a great deal of mental strength to think back on painful times in my life. I can do it, it might just take me awhile.
Back to new beginnings...
Pretty much everyone has read or at least heard of "The Secret." I knew "the Secret" without even knowing that I knew it. When I first left my ex, I moved into my parents' home in California. Even though my Mom and Dad lived out of state, I envisioned a new home for my new life. I visited model homes in my area and really saw the kids and I living in each one. At night, while my kids slept, I would study the Bible, inspirational & self-help books, pour through the model home brochures and Pottery Barn catalogs, and pray.
Two months after I had left, with no money and lengthy and painful divorce proceedings ahead of me, the kids and I visited my parents. I had casually talked to my Mom about the beautiful new development in my area. The next day, my Mom said that she talked to my Dad and he suggested I see what's available. I was shocked because I had no idea that they would be able to help me with my dream. One month later, I chose my home, then it was built and we were moving in 10 months after I had first begun my journey. (A few years later, I was able to repay my parents.)
Yes, I was blessed - I am blessed! I had faith that God would take care of my boys and me and he did it in a much bigger way than I ever thought possible! I was so excited about my new beginning that I wanted some ground rules or better yet, a blessing posted in the entry of our new home. I began to spend way too much time on the site: http://www.wonderfulgraffiti.com/. (I verified the site and it is now Wall Art.) Wonderful Graffiti had an amazing collection of quotes and sayings and designs to stick on your walls. "Welcome," in a magificent font was a nice start; it was just too basic/simple for me. Since I wasn't ready to give up quite yet, "God Bless This Mess," didn't sound right. I finally ended up modifying one of their sayings:
When you enter my home this it was you see and hopefully, what you experience. What do you want to welcome into you life?
May you find your Whimsical Sol and know only blessings and peace,
~Lisa
1 comment:
Lisa, you have been my best friend for more years than I can count...we can't really be that old, can we?!?! I am so proud of your strength and courage to share difficult memories in the hopes of inspiring others! You are amazing and I love you! Carolyn
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